


Crack Shot (The Assassination of Eames)

by kedgeree



Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Crack, M/M, Shooting, fic + art
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 05:54:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9706055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kedgeree/pseuds/kedgeree
Summary: Someone wants to take Eames out.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Aja](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aja/gifts).



> For Aja, whose prompt was "target" -- I hope you enjoy! Happy Valentine's Day!

 

****Coffee** **

Eames is in queue at a coffee shop in Brussels the first time someone tries to kill him.

Well, the first time in a while, anyway.

There's an all too familiar, all too close hiss next to his ear and then a spark off the stainless steel of the commercial grade espresso machine.

He makes his escape in the confused chaos that ensues, while coffee trickles into the ceramic cup that had been waiting under the now-wrecked machine.

 

*

 

****Drinks** **

The next time, he's just settling down at the bar in the business class lounge at Dubai International. On the next stool, there's a rather pretty man in a tight red t-shirt who gives Eames a sidelong glance under thick, dark lashes and a smile Eames doesn't have to go out of his way to interpret.

Eames smiles back as he's signaling the bartender for his order. After all, he has a bit of time to kill.

That's when red-shirt's beer explodes backwards off the bar.

The second shot topples a bottle off the top shelf that clunks, miraculously unshattered, onto the bar in front of Eames. And, fuck, yeah, he takes the Laphroaig single malt with him as he snakes through the panicked crowd. His flight clearly isn't going out today.

 

*

 

"Well?" demands Arthur after the Santiago job.

"Well, what?" Eames asks.

Arthur rolls his eyes and walks away.

 

*

 

****Flowers** **

In Bern, a woman across the street screams and a spray of flowers from her cart bursts out in all directions like fireworks. Red and pink roses skid across the roof of Eames's taxi before he jumps inside and orders the driver to _Go!_

When he gets back to his hotel, Eames discovers one red bud has lodged itself beneath the lapel of his jacket. He puts it in a vase.

 

*

 

****Dinner** **

He's settling down for a working dinner with his chemist in Baton Rouge when a _zing_ and a _crash_ send a plate flying off a passing waiter's cart and onto the tablecloth in front of Eames.

The parsley garnish next to the steak is barely out of place.

Eames smiles and picks up his fork as his chemist dives under the table.

 

*

 

"You're late," Arthur says when Eames gets back to the warehouse.

"Sorry, pet," Eames says. "I was briefly detained by an attempt on my life."

Arthur gives him a disdainful look. "You think someone is trying to kill you?"

"Your concern is touching, truly. But you needn't worry so." Eames leans in to confide, "They're actually a _dreadful_ shot."

Arthur's eyes narrow.

 

*

 

****Breakfast** **

The deadbolt on the door of Eames's New York flat has been shot through. The door is slightly ajar and it's quiet inside.

He has his Glock readied when he puts a heel to the door, kicking it open as he peers around the jamb.

Arthur is leaning against the far wall.

"Well?" Arthur demands. Gruffly.

Eames's gaze shifts to the sheet of paper tacked to the wall next to Arthur, and he smiles. "Oh, I see."

"Idiot," says Arthur.

"Darling," says Eames.

 

*

 

*

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you Callie4180 for betaing! x


End file.
